'You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?'

"Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows."


Well, we're here. Woke up at 3 AM, drove to St. Louis, left at 9. The first flight was hell. It actually made me cry. I know, I'm a wimp, but when you're thousands and thousands of feet in the air and your biggest fears are heights and free falling, and its so windy that the plane is shaking and the landing is awful, well, I think I deserved to be a wimp.

Second flight wasn't near as bad, and it was on a bigger, more comfortable plane. I'm still not looking forward to flying home, but I don't have to worry about that until Sunday morning. Only <96>

We arrived in Arizona around 1 Arizona time, that is 2 Illinois time. We drove through parts of Phoenix, which looked kinda cool, but we couldn't really find anywhere to eat after that. We ended up at a diner called Black Bear Diner or something, and it had amazing cheeseburgers. Mmmm. =] The weather was an incredibly pleasant 70-75, no humidity at all. It was awesome. Everything is dead here, though, and it kinda bothers me that there is no grass.

We left the diner around 3:30, and showed up at the hotel around...5? Maybe. We're up in the mountains where there are elk and deer and there is snow and it is very very chilly. 7,000 feet in Flagstaff is a lot different than sea level at Phoenix. [I don't actually know if Phoenix is at sea level, but you know what I mean.]

I'm sitting in the very nice hotel now with my family watching Scrubs and waiting for Dick Clark to turn on. This is honestly the saddest New Years I have ever had. I'm 1000 miles away from my loving boyfriend, and both of my sick puppies. Lady is puking because of her pain medicine, and that really worries me. Hank has a mild case of kennel cough, and he is miserable. I wish I could be there with Adam to keep Hank comfortable.

I just wish I was home to spend my favorite holiday with my favorite person. Not that I don't love my family, by any means...but I just feel like something is missing this time.


Have a safe and happy New Year, everyone!
XOXO
Meg

Sooo much.

I haven't posted in a very long time, and I apologize for that. This past week has been crazy. Christmas came and went, and I spent the whole time with Adam. He finally met my parents, and they seemed to like him, which is good! We spent an entire 3 days together just going to family Christmas parties. Our families are both so much fun, but I'm glad the holidays are finally over. As a present to ourselves, Adam and I got another puppy. =] His name is Hank and he's a 4 month old, 30 pound Great Dane/Lab mix.












He's the perfect addition to our little family, and we love him. Azzy is learning to get along with him just fine, but she's still the queen bee!!


Amanda just left a few days ago, she and her family came to spend the weekend with us. I haven't had Amanda time in a while, and it was awesome. Her boyfriend, Jason, came with her, and that was pretty cool. They seem to like each other a lot. It was definitely good to catch up with her, even if we didn't get to spend a long time alone. We did go shopping in Decatur, (woo...!) so that was girl time in itself.

Saturday afternoon was a little bit exciting. Illinois weather is very weird, and it was a crisp 50 something degrees outside, after being freezing for a while. This odd warm front brought rain and tornadoes. In winter. The end of December. A tree snapped in half right outside of our house, and we have a hole in the siding above our garage. Thankfully, nobody was hurt, and there wasn't un-fixable damage. The melted snow is causing some problems with the sewer system, which is very unfortunate because we have a lot of laundry to do before we leave tomorrow.


I am being forced to go to Arizona with my family. Over New Years. 1,602 miles from my boyfriend. Over New Years. With my family. In Arizona. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to this at all. I wouldn't mind, really, except I thought I had a choice. Dad asked me if I wanted to go, I said I'd think about it. The next day, I don't have a choice. I even have to get on a plane. If anyone knows me well enough, they know that heights and a fear of free falling make me sick. Airplanes don't fare well with me. And we are only allowed to take one huge suitcase between the 5 of us. One. For my whole family. Basically, this is a big disaster of a "family vacation", and I'm counting down the hours until I am home and with Adam again. (120, give or take 12 hours. I'm not sure when we are leaving to come home.)


Mom and I took Lady to the vet yesterday because she hasn't been eating for about a week. I was really worried that they would find something life threatening like kidney failure or thyroid problems, but they called this morning and all of her blood and urine tests came out fine. We have started thinking it is her teeth that are bothering her, because she is quite old and her teeth are beginning to weaken and rot. They gave her some pain medicine that seems to be working, and she has been snacking on eggs for a few days. We are going to pick up some canned dog food for her so maybe she can start eating again.


I am stoked for school to start again, which is weird for me. But basically, I am going to only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I'll be at Adam's Thursday night-Monday evening on most weekends. I'm very excited to start new and fresh this next semester. I don't think it will be near as hard as my first semester. I can only try my absolute hardest, though, and see what comes of it!


I hope everyone had a great holiday, and I'll resume posting per usual. =]
XOXO
Meg

Remember yesterday...

when I said I liked being home?
Yeah, I lied.

The Benld Adopt-a-Pet was supposed to call me an hour ago so I could go pick up the puppy. I haven't seen Adam in a while, and I'm sick of sitting around in this damn house.

I'm so ready to go back to school so I can see him whenever I want. I hate staying home with nothing to do but clean, which is really all that is expected of me.


Today is not a good day.

My tummy is grumbly, but I just ate!

I love being home. It is so relaxing. I really have nothing to do today. I ran errands for my mom this morning, and now I'm home sitting with a blanket and my laptop and some orange juice watching What I Like About You re-runs. Haha. Ohhh, the Christmas season.

I went to Target and Walmart today for my mother. Let me just tell you, I'm glad it was me and not her. If it had been her, it would have been the most stressful thing ever, because she's always on the go. I had absolutely nothing to do today, so it actually didn't bother me that it took a long long time, and that most of it was just waiting in line. Target wasn't so bad, but I did run into someone who I haven't seen in a long time. It is always a problem when you see that one person you haven't seen in forever, but they're with their girlfriend so you can't go say hi because she hates you because you and her boyfriend used to have a thing.

Yeah.

It was one of those things.

The weather is supposed to be bad today, but it isn't even cold out or snowy or anything. I'm hoping that the roads stay clear, because if they do then I'm headed to Benld tomorrow to pick up me and Adam's puppy!! =] The adopt-a-pet still needs to call me, so keep your fingers crossed that we get approved! I'll be sure to post about him ASAP, if that happens.

XOXO
Meg

absent

I have nothing to write about.

I'm sorry.

xoxo

Things I hate part II.

Gaining weight.


Everyone does it, it is expected of 19 year old college girls. The only problem I have is that I can only fit into 2 pairs of jeans right now, and one of those pairs doesn't go with everything.
It doesn't bother me at all that I've gained weight. I'm by no means overweight, I'm probably pretty normal, but its the clothing that bothers me. I've learned to embrace my slight curves, and that is a huge step for me. Now if only all of my other clothes would grow with me instead of shrink every time I wash them.

XOXO
Meg

Half empty, half full, half failure.

My stomach has been rolling for the past week because everything is coming to an end. The semester is almost over, and I have a good feeling that I'm going to be retaking this semester. I had such great plans for January, and now they're all falling apart because I have to change my schedule around because there is a good chance I'll be on academic probation.

College was probably the worst idea I've ever had. I've never been so disheartened and disappointed in myself. I thought English 101 was going to be cake, but my papers proved otherwise. I don't know if it was my writing or my TA or a little of both, but my grade is definitely not what I was expecting.

I'm scared to go home because I'm afraid of what my parents are going to think. This semester has been a waste of their money. There will probably be yelling. And accusations. I'm afraid they're going to think this is Adam's fault, when in reality, he's probably the only reason I haven't dropped out yet.


All in all, my life is pretty awful right now, aside from my boyfriend, and I really just wanna start over.



College was a bad idea.

Things I hate.

If you are an English major and every decide to take a chemistry lab, save yourself. Run.

Seriously.


Everything > chemistry.




I'm off to my 3 hour lab now.
I'd honestly rather be doing ANYTHING else.
Like falling of a cliff or something.


Jokes, jokes.
=]

To sleep, perchance...

Sleeping has not been a very promising ordeal lately, and when I do finally get tired, I never sleep well. I had the most ridiculous dream last night.

Most of you do not know that when I was a freshman in high school our small town lost two very, very special young men. I happened to be pretty close to one of them. Their names were Steve Hobson and Nathan Donaldson, and they were killed 4 years ago yesterday in a car accident. This anniversary is always pretty tough on everyone, and it was one of the few times that I actually wished I was home.

In my dream, we were getting ready to hold Nathan's and Steve's funerals in some sort of park I have never seen before. It is always weird to cry in a dream because the emotion is so real. There were a countless number of people in attendance, it was quite over whelming. The wails from everyone in the crowd crying made my skin crawl, no joke. I felt like I was searching for something, but I'm not entirely sure that I actually was. After walking around a while I came upon a group of people sitting on a balcony, only the balcony was very close to the ground, almost hovering. People were sitting like they were in a lecture or a classroom listening to one of my sister's bridesmaids, Kristan, talk. This is when everything started getting really weird. She would take groups of people and assign them an emotion. When my group was taken away in and told what our emotion was, we all took off sprinting. Just running around aimlessly as fast as we could. The weirdest part is that our legs weren't moving. It was almost like we were flying. It felt so good. I do not know what our emotion was supposed to be, but I know that that was the calmest I have ever been. I just let go and ran and ran and ran. The wind felt amazing and I was so carefree. Eventually, I had to stop because I saw the point in the sky where Day turned to Night. I wish I were artistically inclined so I could paint a picture for you guys. It was the single most beautiful thing I have ever dreamed.

I stood there staring at that point in the sky for a while before I finally woke up. I'm not sure if there was a point to that dream, but every time I think about it I get goosebumps.

It gave me a sense of peace to know that I saw the most beautiful sight at the funeral of my friends. After four years of wondering, that dream put all of my frightful thoughts about Steve and Nathan to rest.

The mind is a very powerful thing.

XOXO
Meg

Absentee

Sorry I haven't been posting.

I had Thanksgiving.
I had the flu.
I have finals.
I have papers.



Panic.