I am thankful.

This Thanksgiving has been rough for me, in a way. I have realized, however, that I am very, very thankful for what I have.

I am thankful to have a family who loves me, and who has instilled their values in me. It is their fault that I have a level, but mostly crazy, head on my shoulders. I am thankful that we can be there for each other without hesitation, and that we can still get upset when we all can't get together for the holidays. It really made me happy that my entire family was trying to find a time for Mike and Michelle, Great Grandma and Wayne, and Brian, Delyn, and the Baby, and Ryan's boys to all get together for Christmas. It makes me feel so good that my family can be so huge and we still can't have holidays without each other.

I am thankful for my incredible boyfriend. The fact that he is there for me through all of my mood swings and my craziness really means a lot. I have mini breakdowns on a pretty frequent basis, and he just talks me through them like it is the most effortless thing ever. Tonight, I was freaking out about school, and by the end of the conversation I was realizing how silly I was being, and everything seemed to be okay again. I thank God every single day that we somehow found each other. We're like the perfect fitting puzzle pieces.

I am thankful that all of my friends and family, including myself, are happy and healthy for the most part. Everyone has their good years and their bad years, and this one seemed to be on the bad side, but there is always a pro to the con. Grandpa T's death is taking a toll on everyone, especially Grandma T, since this is her first holiday without him. On the bright side, though, we have a new life to share this celebration with in the form of Bryson Cade Duggins. He might very well be the most precious baby I have ever laid eyes on.

Babies are everywhere recently. My maternal instincts are starting to kick in as much as they can in a 19 year old girl. With all of this thinking about babies and careers and life and whatnot, I have to add that I am thankful for the opportunity the Lord gave me to live this one. I am normally not a religious person at all, but today calls for His recognition.


I hope everyone had a fun, safe, and happy Thanksgiving!
God Bless
XOXO
Meg

everyone has a hero

I liked being home....

Until my dad got home. I knew it was inevitable, but I still dreaded it when I had to bring up Adam. The fact that he's my ex-boyfriend's roommate helps nothing, as does the fact that he is 25. My father, of course, couldn't let that go, though. His response?

"Since when did you start running around with old men?"


Of course he had a very amused look on his face. Why can't he just be glad that I'm happy and not dating some abusive schmuck? This really bothers me. So what do you guys think? I'm in a ridiculously happy, healthy relationship. Should my dad really be that mean about this?


I hate Sundays. =[

We wish you a merry sickness....

I was texting my momma and telling her about how I will probably be sick over the holidays again this year since I have a bad cold, and I had mini-flashbacks.

I remember one year, I was probably 9 or 10, and I had the flu on Christmas Eve. My entire family used to go stay at my grandparent's and go to the midnight service at church together, but I was forced to stay home and pass out in front of the TV while one of my grandparents (Grandma? Grandpa? Both?) stayed home with me. I remember waking up when everyone got home and hearing about how my dad was a wise man in a skit they did, and how it was so hilarious. At the time, I was too sick to comprehend anything, but the more I thought about it the more upset I was. I wanted to witness this fun moment that my family seemed to be bonding over. I hated the flu more in that moment than I ever have.

Another year not too long ago I had broken out in hives due to some kind of scented soap. I was on Benadryl all break. It was terrible and I slept for 18 hours of Christmas Day. I honestly don't remember what I missed since I was unconscious so often.

I have been chugging orange juice since I woke up this morning. I felt awful and I automatically thought of how Thanksgiving is not far away, and I will be going home for break very soon. This Thanksgiving is very important to me since I am not always home anymore, so I had better not be sick enough to miss anything.

Bring on the Tylenol!!
XOXO
Meg

Amanda.

I was texting Amanda today, gushing about Adam. She said something that really made me love her.

"I think you've found true love and should run like hell with it and never let go."

I'm gonna have to start running eventually. I just gotta get into shape first, which is no doubt the hardest part.
Goodnight.
XOXO

HAHAHAHA. Like I said, I love Nichole.

Lean on me.

In speech 103 we have been discussing interpersonal relationships such as family, friends, romantic relationships, etc etc. It really made me think about my personal relationships and what they mean to me. I just read a post in another blog about friends, and it really made me want to write about how much everyone means to me.

Momma: My mom is the one person I could absolutely never leave or live without. She is my very best friend and I look up to her so, so much. I never really understood how people could have bad relationships with their mothers. I've realized it is because I am blessed with one of the best moms in the history of the world. Honestly. She is the most amazing person, and she does not even try. My love for her is something that I cannot put into words. My heart swells when I think of her, and I cannot wait to go home and see her again.

Daddy: My dad is probably the coolest man I know. He has taught me so many life lessons and I am so grateful to have such guidance in my life. He and Momma always talk about how they do not feel like they prepared us for the real world, but I do not think they could have done a better job. You only learn as much as you want to learn, and they tried to teach us. The rest is for us to figure out and they are doing a wonderful job of being supportive. Dad is such a hard worker and I can tell that he really cares about his career, us [his family], and himself. He constantly makes me laugh, and I do not know where I would be without him.

Michelle: My older sister is ridiculous. In a good way, mind you! She is goofy and fun and smart, and she always keeps my butt in line. If it were not for her, I would be in a lot of trouble all the time! Being sisters, we have our moments, but I would give anything for her. I am definitely psyched about the wedding, and I know her and Mikey are perfect for each other. It makes me so happy that she has such a sweet love story and wants me to be part of it.

Seth: Guh, where to start. My baby brother is a HUGE part of my world. I hate being away from my family, but sometimes I miss Seth the most. [Sorry guys. I love you all a LOT!!] Being a teenager is tough, I have been through all of that, and I try my absolute hardest to keep him in line. We do get annoyed with each other sometime, but I know when there is a problem and I usually know how to fix it. I remember one time my senior year of high school and he texted me to tell me something that was bothering him. You know, freshman drama between girls and guys. When he told me what was up, I freaked. The girl causing the problems was actually in my P.E. class with me at the time, and I wanted to set her straight then and there. Instead, I just told her to knock it off, but if I could have I would have hurt her for hurting my brother. Its just a protective thing, but I love him. It breaks my heart that he's growing up, but at the same time I'm glad to be there with him.

Amanda: She might as well be my other sister. We are cousins, but we are so much closer than that. She is my very very very best friend, and we go through everything together. She constantly makes me smile and laugh, and when she is sad, it makes me sad. We can always count on each other to help with life's random problems. I am crazy happy that she has found Jason because I can tell that he really makes her happy. She is a smart, gorgeous, wonderful girl who has dreams and ambitions. We are kind of the same person, I guess. ;]

Cortney: Oh man. Me and this girl have been through everything together. She is definitely one of my best friends, and I don't think anything can break that. When we're together everything is so care free, and we read each other's moods and finish each other's sentences. I cannot tell you how many times we have just sat looking at bumper stickers and youtube videos and laughing so hard we cry. College has definitely made us closer.

Adam: Ooooh, this boy. Meeting him was a total accident, but it is one of the best accidents that has ever happened to me. He makes me smile when I don't want to and makes me laugh when I think that I can't. I always tell him about how I feel like a goofball for walking around campus and smiling at nothing but thoughts of him. People must think I'm crazy. I have never felt anything so significant than the feelings I have for him. It always feels like a lot of obstacles are in our way, and that eventually our relationship will stop getting better. Every time I think it is reaching a plateau, it starts all over again. The thumping in my chest, the smile on my face. Even right now as I'm typing this my brain is going nuts. For speech today everyone had to write a letter to their "significant other". I thought it was going to be hard, but once I sat down at my laptop all of the feelings I have got put into words. My letter turned out longer than it should have been. =/ (Story of my life.) I definitely could not have asked for anyone better than Adam. Besides, how many guys willingly take their girlfriends to Twilight and read the book? Yeah, not many. =] XOXO

Nathan: Geez. I have been through thick and through thin with this kid. We have our moments and our phases and our fights and our feelings, but that never ends up getting in the way like we thought it would. I didn't realize how much I'd miss him at school until he moved 6 hours away from me. I just can't wait till Thanksgiving Break to see this kid!

Chole: Nichole Binder. Holy cow. We have grown apart since we both went our seperate ways, but I often still consider her my best friend. We've got a really cool relationship, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Even though we don't talk often, I am still always there for her, and her for me. She is one person I can never give up on.


Everyone has some sort of significance in my life. If I did not write about you, please do not take offense. You are part of my life. You are significant.

XOXO,
Meg

Passion -- AWOL.

"Knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure beats the hell out of never trying."
--Grey's Anatomy


Momma sent me a card with this on the front. I framed it and looked at it every day. I used to live by it. It no longer seems true or relevant to me.

My dream was to become a veterinarian. I can't pass chemistry to save my life, so my dreams were already broken in the first two weeks of the 'rest of my life'. I have no idea what I want to do with myself now. In my case, I wish I never would have tried. I know wishing is not good for much, but chemistry was too big of a waste. I could have listened to what everyone told me and just started out in Journalism. I have always been a firm believer that if you want something bad enough, you can get it no matter what. This is either false, or I did not want to be a veterinarian bad enough.

At this point, I just feel like I'm settling. I'm settling for something I know I'm good at, something that will give me the resources to have a successful career. I have lost my passion, and I'm not sure where to find it now.

I hope this is only a phase, because right now this is devastating.

Tiny Ghosts

"He named his daughter 'Hurricane'. He felt that if you could name a storm after a woman, why could you not name a woman after a storm?"

--I cannot take credit for this, but I don't know who to give it to.


I am very much in love with this quote. I hope that little girl lives up to her name.